Anyway, Where Were We?

There is something uniquely disorienting about realizing you’ve abandoned a part of yourself in the name of love.

Not all at once, of course.

I don’t think we ever wake up one morning and decide to become smaller for another person. It happens quietly. We make little concessions. We reconsider the things we once felt certain about. We start imagining a different version of our life because someone we love exists in it, and suddenly the future we were building alone begins to feel negotiable.

For awhile that’s what I thought love was supposed to look like. It’s honestly crazy how quickly we abandon intuition for those rose colored glasses.

Earlier this year, I made the decision to step away from the business. At the time there was the possibility of a different life; a quieter one, perhaps. The person I imagined it with (with deep commitment) eventually chose a different path and I was left standing in the aftermath, looking around at everything I had been willing to give up.

Strangely, that heartbreak ended up being the biggest sign from the universe. I guess that’s usually how it goes; sometimes you’re not able to see something until it’s shown to you. I suddenly remembered the life that I have built on my own terms. Who traveled. Who had money. Who wanted beautiful things and never apologized for wanting more from her one wild life. I was a woman who could be soft without being submissive to an idea that was completely wrong.

So my friends, lovers, colleagues: break out the champagne. A good one.

I’m coming back with better boundaries, better taste, pride in who I am and what I do, a little more wisdom and a very clear understanding that I will never again abandon a part of myself just to make it easier for someone else to love me.

That doesn’t mean I’ll never fall in love again.

God, I hope I do.

But that person will never make me feel like I need to choose all or nothing; love or ambition.

I love this world, this life and the woman I’ve become because of it.

Okay, okay, enough of that. Let’s get drunk and make out.

Yours + Mine,

Romy xoxo